A Playground

Good evening, from Franz Josef. I am writing this on the porch of a cafe in what feels like a misty rainforest. Not too cold..not near hot..I have the perfect clothes on to be comfortable in this weather. The puffer jacket..tshirt..hiking pants..and my rubber booties as Sarah would call them. I caught back up with her and some other new friends in Wanaka yesterday. Sarah moved into a new place in Wanaka and starts work Monday. She made the jump. I admire that. From what I have seen in New Zealand so far….Wanaka is most likely where I would choose to live as well. I found out a couple days ago that the Maori translation for Wanaka is “Rejuvenation of the soul”….hmmmmmmm and I sure do love that! Such a fitting meaning for such a beautiful setting and town. The first couple pictures I will attach are from Wanaka..once you see pics in the vehicle.. everything will be headed out to the West Coast and ultimately where I am now.

My body has been talking to me the past 5 days probably. I rested it in Wanaka. I really did a whole lot of nothing…caught up on a lot of sleep. Used most of the hot water in the hostel shower…sorry…but I needed it. When you get to moving too fast on this trip it wears you down….my last 4-5 Australia days..felt like they were high intensity…go..go..go. Stayed in several different places..then land in Queenstown and stay there again…then make my way up to Wanaka and unpack again…I am still rocking the black 42L backpack..the small blue 21L backpack and then carrying 2 or the 3 footwear items in my hand on a carabiner. I try to wear the heavy clothes on the travel days to make my bag lighter and I tie them around my waist. Weather is just too all over the place as well so it’s nice to have your jacket handy. It takes me maybe 20 is minutes to fully back everything back up after a stay in a hostel. Most of the time I do it the night before..and then there are plenty of times where I’m rushing by butt off before checkout or whatever activity I have planned. That’s typical Zack right there. I will say I am proud of myself for only leaving one item behind on the entire trip. I left my watch in the shower in Australia. I don’t think I took it off before then..I was sunburned and wanted it off for a little bit…it wasn’t but 30-$40 watch..I’ll get another one…or I’ll figure out how to read the time like our ancestors did before clocks.

I made it from Feb 25th to April 3rd without renting a car…pretty good! I did my best to make it around the trip by hitching, busses, trains, a couple planes, and then rides with new friends…but I made it to Wanaka and came to a point where I was headed into a less traveled part of the country..which..to me..it should be the most traveled part of the country. There are long stretches without civilization and the weather can turn on you if you aren’t careful. I decided that I could rent a car for a week and do what I want to. I pick one up this morning…it’s a silver weird/hatchback? Toyota. It’s in the picture behind my thumb you’ll see below. So we drive on the left here…I got my first experience driving on the left at Al’s…but that was really on his property..and it wasn’t even a real truck lol and it was a stick…that thing was DIFFERENT…but the steering wheel was on the right. But I never took the truck on the main roads and dealt with roundabouts or big intersections. So the lady hiring(renting) this car to me..as they say…gave me the low down on driving on the left…with a sharpie and a piece of paper…the main thing to keep in mind is to stay near the middle line. Danger is to my right…my head is naturally going to want to look the other way for danger when I’m entering or crossing a road…so go ahead and always look both ways..but danger is on the right. She said that most people will figure it out within a couple hours…then they get comfortable with and by day 3 they revert back to rightside driving instincts…so you do have to stay focused…I’ve already noticed my right side driving instincts try to kick in..in a few situations. Its fun though…its like a new game..not nervous..but its something to take..obviously very seriously of course.

So with renting a car…you gain instant freedom on a trip like this…but you eliminate a portion…of spontaneity…or… I should probably say you decrease the raw chance of interesting happenstances..or quirky situations you might come across when you are dependent on others getting you places. Of course… you can be very spontaneous with a vehicle…but you do tend to interact a little less with the traveling stranger..or local. So there are tradeoffs…and I’m very used to the solo road trip lifestyle. When I hit the road…I didn’t play music as I was gathering all information I could on road signs and how driving over here worked…once I was comfortable..and I reached the winding roads out of town…I hooked up my bluetooth and played my songs….I was back…adventure time is here again..I’m rested..I’m ready to see something new..I’m actually headed to probably my top 3 destination of the entire trip…I’ve looked forward to this one. I can now take myself wherever I want..I can stay for however long I want..and I have security that I won’t be stuck in a place…all of these are obvious realizations to you and me about renting a car…but I like to let you know closely to what I’ve been feeling and seeing.

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I really cherish some of my smaller solo trips…and at the time I took them…they felt big!…I had never done anything like this current one. My first “leap” or just “f it” trip was June 2020. Covid hit..and I was furloughed from my company…not laid off…there was a promise they would bring us back..but they weren’t going to pay us for a little while…and technically you couldn’t have contact with your customers…hope it doesn’t get me in trouble 4 years later..but yeah maybe I wasn't getting paid..but I did my best to maintain relationships with my customers…but It was covid…so there were a lot of customers who didn’t want you in their offices anyways…well I’m not getting paid…I can’t go in to see them..I’m getting like a $850 check from the Government every week..I can’t remember how much it was. I had a little bit of money saved up. A lot of my friends were still working..I saw a chance to go…I think I made a decision within a few days and booked a ticket to Missoula, Montana…booked the rental car…it was actually a big dodge ram…all they had left…and had two weeks to make it from Glacier National Park to Vegas to fly home. I covered so much ground..met so many people..saw so many beautiful places…I watched it turn from a lush green to a desert red over the weeks as I headed south… I was alone..and I loved every bit of it. It was weird doing a trip like that in Covid…but the National Parks were empty…I had a lot of space to breath…small businesses were hurting all along the way…call it reckless…but I was living and I was dying to live…and I had to capitilize on the opportunity to explore myself and put myself out in the world….you might have holed up and watched Netflix for months and wore stupid helmets to the grocery store….wore rubber gloves in the store and then forgot you were wearing gloves while you rubbed your eyes and face with them still on when you got back to the car…unreal….maybe that was just your version of “living”…maybe you did have some underlying issue that you felt you may have been susceptible to Covid that could prevent you from living longer. That’s fine! This was my version of “living longer” 2019 was rough and I needed a little time to process alone…so the whole thing about a trip like that endangering others… I really didn’t care…none of us knew what was going on…staying inside would have probably been worse for me…I didn’t enjoy lockdown whatsoever. I didn’t like people weaponizing everything on both sides….election was around that time as well…it all just fucking sucked. Wow..4 years ago that’s…that’s insane…what ALL of us went through.

Whew…so..since that “Glacier to Vegas” trip..I was just obsessed with “adventure” more than ever before….I have always been curious…and loved exploring…all the way back to my childhood home..where we used metal detectors to find an old moonshine still by the creek in my backyard…way down the hill…and you would dig up some barrels or rings here…and then find some more over there..and it was always exciting to see where something else might be hidden…in seemingly plain sight..just a few inches below the ground you were standing on. I’d actually like to go back down there and visit one day…Bolingbroke..Georgia.

I’ve enjoyed this resurgence in the past 4-5 years of being able to soul search..solo…becoming comfortable….being alone…I remember living in Winston-Salem, NC when I was maybe 23. I was selling grease traps to restaurants all over the triad region of the state…my territory was Winston, Greensboro, and Highpoint. It was a paid internship…It was my first cold-calling role…I had worked a few manual labor jobs and a few customer service jobs..and this was the first…raw…sales experience. My clientele was pretty much any restaurant that wasn’t a big corporate chain…that had fryers…the more fried food in a restaurant….the more money in my pocket…so BBQ restaurants were whales(BBQ is pretty big up here)….Seafood Houses/Restaurants were huge…trendy green juice carrot shops didn’t get my time of day. I could go all into this experience…I do think it has shaped who I am today..I was pretty good at it.. I sold a lot…my point here is ….I spent a lot of time in the car. The most time I had ever spent in a car was driving back and forth from Macon to Alabama…and the seldom beach or mountain trips…alot of the time…I was with other people. So I’m working in North Carolina…I get 3 credits to finish my degree at Alabama for this internship…It doesn’t matter how many grease traps I sell…I just need a positive review from my Manager..I looked at this as a chance to prove that Zack is worth something…and I really feel like I proved to myself in these 3-4 months that I could do anything I put my mind to….I found self-worth in this internship…I don’t care if I only made so and so amount of money…I let myself know that I was capable….Zack is Capable…I knew he always was…but now its been proven..no matter what “scale” or “size” the accomplishment is..and I wasn’t a cheesy used car salesman…I believed in the company…who was the small guy in the industry…and they were ethical and had evidence to back it up..and I was just authentic…from someone who had trouble ordering a cheeseburger at the counter of a Mcdonald’s just a year before…anxiety through the roof..shame out of this world…to come up to this state and talk face to face with human beings…genuinely convince someone to buy my product for wholesome reasons..and do it confidently..you fucking go Zack. I am so proud of how far you have come….…So grateful for my time up there…and Brad Helms…who I played many golf rounds with in my free time up in NC. I am a better golfer and have some life wisdom that I don’t think I would have achieved so early…without him.

So this internship…I’m riding around every single day…seeing idk…somedays 25-30 restaurants..more or less…I’m trying to discover new music…I’m going through alot…I don’t know what Is on the other side of this internship..I don’t know what my love life is going to look like….where I’m going to live…I just know I need to win this battle..this internship. I did win. and I did that…I think by embracing the alone time…I would roll the windows down often..and play things very loud…I would park in the back of the parking lot…I would try to have breakfast lunch and dinner at a potential restaurant that could buy from me….I got used to eating alone….I made friends with some employees of these places..but most of the time..a couple times a day..I was alone.I was already a little used to eating alone..in College…I especially when my friends started to graduate and I was still there….doing the library and eating alone thing..or drinking alone. oof.

It was the music in between visiting customers at these restaurants that kept me going…I can still pinpoint certain songs that remind me of this time period….alot of it was Big Thief..Cold War Kids…Rainbow Kitten Surprise….Tomorrow, Wendy-Live…is the biggest takeaway song from that time…I remember calling my Uncle John who I knew…knew sales..while I was in-between customers every now and then…lots of great advice from him. John showed me this song. One of my favorite people on this earth. I do love both of my Mom’s brothers..and my Dad’s brothers/sister…John has just been a little closer in age! But Tomorrow, Wendy…and it has to be the live version….it may play almost weekly in my ears still…its probably slowed down…but when I hear this song it takes me back to the time that I did something…that Zack felt worthy in this world..that Zack could do things just like other people…that maybe Zack was better at something than other people…maybe that Zack actually wasn’t scared of people…and that he liked other people!!! That he wanted to learn more about other people! I’m trying to tell you what music does for me!!

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before I continue on with my journey to Franz Josef..I would like to say the number one person who provided me the strength and confidence to sell to people and shoot…just so many life lessons…is my Father. Yancey. I talked to him about every day during that internship…he should have been paid for all of the free advice and minutes that I borrowed his time on the phone…we dissected sales situations every day…I would not have the success..and I don’t think I make it to 29 without him. One of two of my biggest fans. Mom and Dad. My dad helped push me through those anxious moments and helped me overcome so many of my fears…I hope to be..and I mean this with all of my heart…half the man that Yancey Houston is. A father, husband, brother, son, businessperson, and an influential part of our society. My best man at my wedding…but most importantly..just my best man.

When I connect bluetooth in this odd New Zealand car…I put on an album that has just taken Zack over…over the last few months. It’s called True Love…its by Hovvdy. It came out a couple years ago and I’ve really focused on a maybe 3-4 songs…but this time…it was a song called “Hope” that struck a chord with me….I was free again in this rental car…I’m surrounded by lush green mountains..some fall colored leaves near the water…riding alongside lakes..mountains..rainforests….the sun peeks through every now and then…then around the next turn there are misty mountains..clouds rolling through. Not many people on the road….I guess the drive was several hours..I didn’t keep up with time. You come across about 20 bridges…one way bridges..you have to look way through it to see if the other car is coming…I had to wait til they passed through about half the time…I play “hope” about 100 times…its a 2 minute…40 second song…I just keep clicking the back button on the steering wheel to play it again...I also keep trying to put my blinker on with my left hand..but in this car..thats the windshield wiper lol. I’ll figure it out. I learn the lyrics…but the focus is on this gradually growing synth? in the background… I can’t get this stereo system to be any louder. When song gets to a point you love it so much that it can’t be loud enough…then it’s done its job..and it’s striking a chord. I wonder how they just create this out of thin air..I admire all types of artists…I think it is so incredible that people can produce art like this…from their brain…out into the world…this song is the theme song of the drive.

Last section of this post…I’ve done my research in December and January on where I want to go on this trip….the west coast of the South Island…continued to stick out to me…I knew this would play a large role of my trip…I didn’t look up anything about it since January. I have tried to leave some element of surprise and wonder..of what a place will look like and feel like. I get closer to my destination…its becoming reality…I’m driving alongside lakes and rivers..then make it to the west coast…there’s and ocean to my left…to my right its a rainforest…there are ferns lining up the sides of this long road/highway. A fern is like the New Zealand symbol..I think. you see it everywhere. Also to my right…there are mountains..but the clouds are covering the tops…I know from my research what mountains these are and what all is existing just over that way…I know that in the distance there is a really big mountain…called Mt. Cook. On the 5 dollar bill here..there is man pictured named Sir Edmund Hillary. Hillary, in 1953, was the first…alongside his sherpa..Tenzing Norway..were the first to summit Mt. Everest. Hillary practiced for Everest on Mt. Cook. Mt. Cook is just over there! I can’t see it…though for the cloud coverage and other smaller mountains…but I know its there…its like a tease…I also know that there are two famous glaciers…Fox Glacier…Franz Josef glacier….just chilling somewhere behind the fog and mountains…..I have a car…I have time…I can make it to any trailhead I want…I am going to see these places sometime in the next few days…I’m not going to look up pictures.. my imagination is working wonders..and I can see it. I can’t wait to see it in real life. I’m going to all three of these places. I arrive to my hostel and the foothills of these rainforest mountains…mountain mist…cool breeze…all on my right…a lake to my left..an ocean further than there…glaciers to my right…this is my playground. I play my song louder…”hope” by Hovvdy(pronounced, ‘Howdy’). New Zealand is my playground. This earth is my playground. I can choose to have fun..and I can choose where I want to have fun….the uncertainty and going into the unknown excite me. I’m rejuvenated. A friend in Wanaka encouraged me to focus more on “how” i’m feeling rather than “why”…while I think both are important…I agree…It’s time to focus on “how” I’m feeling…and embrace whatever that feeling may be. This is MY playground after all….

Thanks for reading, friend. Much love.