Fat Pipi Pizza and Blue Thumb Blue, Water 3

I said I was going to complete my thoughts from this part of the trip.. because I do think there was a lot of work in my head during this time. *I’ve been in Christchurch for 3 days but I’m writing about my time Hokitika this past weekend*

So looking at this beautiful water and thinking about my time with A Friend in Me.. I was also able to sit still on several parts of the trail… and there was a big wave that came over me… something saying to me… you have endured a lot in a short life. I guess I’ve always been wrapped up in the pain.. and for the first time ever.. I’ve been able to step back kind of look back at things from a different perspective.. envisioning a map in my head and feeling all of the pain that has happened back in the states…looking at a globe from a distance and now I’m in a safe place where nothing can hurt. But I’m still hurt. The traumas will exist inside of me forever unfortunately.. but the way I handle has been and will continue to get better.. and better.. and better. I’m learning to deal.. not bottle up.. but deal and when needed… feel. I’m getting better at understanding my triggers. I feel like there is a new onset of them now that things are so complex with several different traumas.. that sometimes it feels like dominoes.. and not the pizza. We only eat fat pipi pizza.

I understand that I have to look out for number 1… yes I have all of these ambitions to help and I will continue to help.. but finding my range in what I can handle is most important right now. Idk how long that will take… afim and the courage and the initiative sits on my arm every day. There are blue thumb stickers out in the world. There have been people positively affected by AFIM. I promise you. It’s hard to put statistics on things like.. well this amount of people got so and so help from attending an afriend in me event. I mean yes we donated money to help some people get direct therapy.. but to try an quantify how many people got something out of seeing a post, a speech, attending an event, etc. there’s just no way to tell. If you are someone who donated and wandering if your money did anything.. I can tell you my phone ringing in the morning talking to suicidal people will answer yes to your question. Event 1,2,3 don’t happen without you. The messages in my social media from people hurting or resonating with what was being said.. has been eye opening for me to say the least. On our end.. afim has been on pause for a while.. but the thumb will always live. What was already done will love. There is a club of kids in Macon, Ga who are mentoring and being stewards of love, kindness, and intentional friends who are making their community a better place.. and who knows the ripple effects of what can go on down there. I imagine I settle into my city.. I’d always be willing to speak to whoever on suicide, depression, or just adapting to change. But as far as programming and keeping up with it all.. I can’t right now. I could barely do it last year. I have to focus on me for now.

Okay.. so long day at the blue water thinking of all of the things above.. make it back in town getting ready to see the sunset on the beach. I can’t not try a place by the beach called “fat pipi pizza” I go up to the counter they only have meat toppings.. says no vegans or vegetarians allowed in the front door.. really embracing their name. I can’t even remember my order at this point but I think it was meaty obviously. Mozzarella base. I ask the guy.. is it really “fat pipi pizza” like pronounced “pee pee”? He says yes what will you have. Just skips right through any chance of conversation or laughter around it.. I’m like a kid in 7th grade biology class who can’t stop laughing about the scientific word of a body part. I’m messing but I was giggling and trying not to laugh.. I think I had just spent several hours grinding through stuff in my head and this bizarre pizza name brightened up day.. brought a little bit of relief to the day. It also let me know…to take it easy…this life can be silly and so enjoyable too. Lets laugh a little while we’re trying to figure out the meaning of it all!

I sit down.. the pizza takes 25-30 minutes.. but there’s a book on the table that is intriguing to me. I was actually able to read a couple chapters and about the author. I snapped a few pics of the pages I liked. He was a local.. apparently a legend. He lived on the west coast and in Hokitika most of his life.. he had several impressive accomplishments. The book is called,”The Coast’s Colorful Characters” by Jim Keenan. It was filled with the breakdown of all different kinds of people on the west coast. Humorous, inspiring, and informative stories. He was just story telling. I feel like I’ve just been storytelling. I think a book like this would be fun to write after a long life of interacting with people in a somewhat small region. I attached the “Epilogue”. At first I didn’t like the way he was going with it.. it was coming off as a brag but then I make it to the end and he says that he was able to live this kind of life and accomplish all of these with the highest earning salary in his 50 years of work being $38,000 NZ. “I have written the above facts about my life because I firmly believe that you can enjoy a happy and fulfilled life without being wealthy. Just to have lived most of that life on the beautiful West Coast of lovely New Zealand was a reward in itself. To have met so many of the Coast's Colourful Characters has been a blessing, one of the many, when I count the blessings of my life”

I believe findingzack made a turn in the right direction.. while on the west coast of New Zealand. It inspired me more than anywhere else I’ve ever been. I hope to make it back one day.. it would be nice to show someone else how special that place is as well.

The pizza arrives in a Togo box. The manager says.. it’s actually pronounced “pip-e”. It’s a shell. I refuse to pronounce it “pip-e”. Fat Pee Pee pizza, the sunset, the blue water, the book, Franz Josef, and so many other places on the west coast… will live forever in the good part of my memory bank. I would say the turning point and most memorable part of the west coast was my time spent at Three Mile Lagoon…surrounded by mountains, rainforests, a lagoon, and the Tasman Sea.

Headed to a comedy show in Christchurch to see a NZ comedian. Looking for a good laugh. I’m pushing through.. Resting up before the next chapter of findingzack. 3 weeks left.

Much love.