Island Notes,Rejection, and James Taylor

I am giving one more blog post to the 29th of April, 2024. It will be posted tomorrow. April30th. It will be the last installment of my day on the Great Barrier Island on the 26th of April, 2024. I am writing to you from the same hostel that I stayed in on the first week in NZ. My first hostel. It’s called LyLo. It is in the middle of the city. Modern…efficient. A pod is about 30 USD a night. A little more expensive than most of the hostels I’ve stayed in…but they have great amenities and a great atmosphere. I arrived here last night…someone was in my bed…thats fine..I walk downstairs..and sort it out..get a new bed. Unfortunate, as I had to switch from a bottom bunk to a top bunk. These pods are unlike any other hostel I’ve stayed in. You are in a room with maybe 7 other people. Co-ed…you can slide a panel over that creates total darkness…there is a mini fan..a small mirror..mesh pockets to store..outlets..and on the ground outside of the pod is a lockable storage cabinet dedicated to my pod. I woke up this morning in Auckland…phone dead…pitch black…I have no clue what time it is…I forget where I’m at..as I’ve stayed in so many different places in such a short amount of time…I feel like I’m in a spaceship. I knew I was going to be tired so I learned my lesson from previous stays…as I’ve slept through checkout before…I went ahead and booked two nights in case this would happen. I slept til 11:00 a.m. Much needed rest. This was one of the only days of the trip where I knew I didn’t have anything to do..I have seen so much…I was going to sleep as long as my body and mind would allow me. I haven’t felt that way since I was in middle school in the middle of summer with nothing to do…little did I know…I was probably wasting so much precious time. In college…especially freshman year…I made a mistake in my second semester of registering for classes only in the late afternoon…which would allow me to sleep in and have time to get over a hangover…I remember feeling incredibly useless…pitiful..as I would arrive to a 5pm class..feeling like I was just starting my day. I would then repeat another night of debauchery or isolation paired with a substance. Repeat. An endless stream of unproductive habits…pitiful…useless in this world. Disappointing. Miserable.

I need to be careful before I write a novel on my past. Before I begin with the rest of my day on GBI. As my day progressed today..exploring a nearby town..reachable by a 20 minute ferry..Devonport..I really liked this place. It was the original home to a resident and new friend on the GBI. It was a nice escape from Auckland..and easy to get to…but a common theme of things I was processing through today were rejection….Maybe my dreams do induce thoughts throughout the following day…dang…I think they do…no matter how much we try to move on…no matter how hard we fight..I guess it does affect us…... I think we have all been rejected at some point…nobody likes being rejected. There are extremes to rejection…but at the end of the day…rejection is rejection…and it…it….fucking sucks.

I’m listening to a song called “Shell” by Hovvdy by the way. It is my jam..spotify will always let me play it…it won't reject me.

My fingers are wanting to write today. I charge forward. I allow them to release on paper and into the world. Therapeutic.

Am I a people pleaser? Am I ever enough? shit…I’m trying to be respectful. Pause

Unpause

If I don’t make it back to my story on GBI soon…we will get lost in the world of Zack and all of his shortcomings, rejections, and ultimately a spiral of negative thinking. We switch to a happy day…now.

I’m in my rental Mazda. Before I leave the lodge…I study the map…I know how much time I have..I calculate the distance/time between the places I think I want to visit. I have not set a mission on any of my expeditions in any of the areas I’ve visited…besides maybe Wharariki beach where I wanted to find the Windows Screensaver. The island is big…but not that big…the furthest point of interest for me is one hour away…on a map its very close…but it consists of very narrow and winding…gravel roads. All of the roads on the island can barely fit two vehicles coming across each other…if on a paved road..you can zoom through without having to slow down too much..but it is still close. The gravel roads…which most of them are marked with signs that say “4wd only”. My host said it’s been a little dry lately and this car can handle them. Great! I want to go down every single one of them! The gravel roads you have to use extreme caution as they are very narrow.

I stop at a cafe in the next “town”. It had a funny name…I’m getting tired and can’t think of it at the moment…hmmm…I think this one deserves a more attentive Zack. I am going to bed. I will continue this when I can. I reckon we can expect about 6 more posts from me before we close out findingzack. I wake up tomorrow…on my last day in NZ.

A million thoughts run through my head. I am forever grateful for this dream come true. I am blessed. I am grateful for all of my friends and family. I am grateful for NZ. I am grateful for fresh air…and a full life to live. Rejection is a part of life…we learn..we grow..we continue on..we charge forward..we live….we live…..dang…thats all we do…we keep…just trying to live.

I love you reader..I love you future Zack.

Pause;

Unpause

Today is my last day. I am waiting on my laundry to finish. I have two loads running to make sure they dry before my long flight tomorrow. The socks man…stinky pee yew. I threw away a couple pair. They have served me well over the last few years and it was time for them to retire.

GBI. I explore cove after cove..its an older car..no bluetooth..windows down..AirPods in..we are living again. I stop at a little “convenience” store I guess you would call it. I get a big thing of still water and a variety pack of chips. 12 little bags. I grab a croissant at the cafe next-door. Its called “My fat Puku”…there is a sign on the gate…”The cafe is closed this Saturday (27th April) as our daughter is getting married” Below it…a stick figure picture of a bride and groom that says “I Do”. Cute little cafe…people chilling around casually talking outside. I get up to the counter…I reckon this lady might be the mother of the bride. I ask…she is….I had just met the family of the groom on the boat. It was really neat. They were so excited for the wedding the next day. The husband runs around the cafe working hard in a tie dye shirt. I can’t remember what it said but it was a positive statement in big letters. This is a happy cafe. I eat my croissant next to a dog named “Sugar” outside…the owner has a house on the island but resides in Auckland…he is thinking of moving here…he’s got a large tattoo of sheet music? I guess on his arm. We talk about music. He shares this amazing story of how he acquired a Fender amp from Stevie Ray Vaughan back in the 70’s. Stevie gifted it to another musician in Auckland when he was touring here…this friend..gifted it to the guy I’m talking to…we imagine its worth alot…but I don't expect this guy to be selling this piece of history. I liked the name sugar for a dog…when I talk to dogs in a stupid puppy/childlike voice…I feel like I always end up calling them Sugar if I don’t know their name yet…hmmm..I like the name sugar for my future dog. I’ve been thinking alot about getting one in Texas when I settle in…I like the name..Kiwi…Sonny..and I think in this moment…Sugar makes alot of sense as well…or the dog can be Kiwi or Sonny and then nicknamed Sugar…best of both worlds hmmm…or Kiwi Sugar Houston…or Sonny Sugar Houston. Alright..back to it. There is a tv to my right playing a music video of David Bowie RIP and Mick Jagger…I have never seen it before. I like both of those guys…always have.

I take off further north on the island…part of the coves feel like key west…fisherman..boaters..islanders…I saw a few boats on stilts…perched up and turned into house boats. It reminded me of the show bloodline a little bit..which I guess is set in Key West. On the map my host gave me…she wrote down “30 min” at Windy Canyon…alright let’s go see windy canyon..its early afternoon. I park the car…leave my water and book bag in it…it’s going to be a short walk…I have my green boots on instead of my hiking boots. I do have a light jacket. I take off. Elevation begins…I mean freaking stair case after staircase…I see windy canyon…yea its cool..but it didn’t take me long to get to it…I look further out over the Ridgeline and see the trail continuing…my phone is on about 15%…I get one bar at the top of the ridge I’m on…I pull up all trails….Mt. Hobson is what I’m looking at ahead of me…highest point on the island..Its maybe another hour to it….so I’m on the otherside of the world for only a couple more days..on a remote island that is absolutely stunning…and you think I’m just gonna let that viewpoint be in such close range and to turn around and abandon it…nope…we keep going…knowing that our phone will die..knowing that we don’t have food or water.

This trail cruises up and down..and then we begin to ascend…staircase after staircase..sometimes they aren’t stairs..there was one section that was crumbling rock…,my knees are hurting..sweating..I’m still kicking…I guess I’m swallowing my own saliva for hydration? idk….I have realized over the years…that we really…don’t need water as much as we think we do…yes I know we need water every few days or so to fully survive….but when exercising or doing any activity that exhausts energy…I don’t think we really need water that much..I think we just want it. Maybe I have deprived my body for so many years that is used to the abuse.

I don’t remember climbing this many stairs…in years… I make it to the platform..my phone is on 2% chill up there for a little..the wind was nice on my face…huge views..panoramic…can see both sides of the island. Mt. Hobson…I really like this view…on a wooden platform. I worked hard to get there…I decide up there…this is the last hike of the trip…my dogs are barking..my knees have had enough. I’m just proud of them for making it this far. The muscles around them have got to be strengthen at this point and I still experience pain inside of them…in my next chapter I will no longer put off fixing them. I to young not to be able to play basketball with friends..or have to be careful with how I step..every single step.

When I was going to bed last night…I was thinking about sea sickness..getting dizzy. I remember when my Papop and Grandma Kathy took me to Washington D.C. in 6th grade…the same year I shot myself in the foot with a .22 rifle. We were at the air/space museum…they had a virtual mechanical ride that you could customize your own ride. I think it was like a jet…Papop and I are standing there…I look at the options..and pick as many crazy flips and maneuvers as possible…he begins to worry about what this ride is going to be like….we get in that thing….it was going crazy..I’m laughing..Papop is not laughing…we get done and he b-lined to the bathroom. Sorry Papop…the ferry got revenge for you.

Headed back to the car on the Palmer track..my phone dies..I have an hour left…the sun sets in maybe 2 hours of so…at a few points..the sun is eye level…to my left….the ferns and bush are letting the light creep through…splashes of sunlight..beams of sunlight hit my face as I trek forward..it was awesome…like I was being hit by strobe lights in a club. jk..not that crazy but you get it….I enjoyed the no cellphone, no water, no food, walk back to the car. Surrounded by natural beauty…all alone.

Chug water in the car…phone dead..turn on the radio….the literal…first thing I hear on the talk radio…”Today protestors did so an so at Emory University in Atlanta, GA”….What in the world…I’m way over here..across the world…and the local radio…talking about a place that exists 15 minutes from my house. Weird.

On the way home…I see a sign for a brewery…big letters…says OPEN. Well things close early here so I’m gonna go reward myself with a beer. Super cool..super small..outdoor brewery…great beer. Solar Charged is the one I liked. Kids playing..people sitting on bean bags…good tunes playing…looking over a beautiful swamp with mountains in the background…green on the earth and the sky turns orange as the sun sets.

At the counter…I notice the guy serving beer..wearing what looked like a dress…I read the sign below…it reads “Frock Friday!” “Why do we do it? Frock Friday is about not taking yourself or life too seriously. Stop and have a laugh, don’t get hung-up on what others think and enjoy yourself. We are all about raising awareness to mental health. Today we also raise money for the Levi Galaboski Pump track @ Kaitoke school” I chat with them about it…a couple other places do it on the island…and you know…I absolutely love it. I had never seen that idea before…looks like I took that picture at 5:20….what a place to have a beer in this world…Aotea Brewing on the Great Barrier Island in New Zealand. I look around…I see a book…open the book..ask if the book is good to the guy in the frock..he says…ask her. Points at the other blonde working the bar. She says…”well I’m biased because my dad wrote it…and I do think its very good”….I read the back page of it..get the jist of it…I’ve already fallen in love with the island in half a days time and this guy is writing about how he fell in love with it too..and decided to raise his family here. They have been here for around 20 years now.I buy it…it’s called “Island Notes” by Tim Higham….”Finding my place on Aotea Great Barrier Island”….with his house nestled in a green forest paradise on the island…beautiful picture…

Go home..shower never felt so good…walk to the one restaurant near me…have a steak…meet a guy eating a steak alone..chat for a little bit..I look on my phone…the band “Hovvdy” released their album. I knew it was going to come at some point this weekend. It will be on repeat for the rest of the trip…it will sing me back home to the states…it’s so good. I love every song. I love the Great Barrier Island..I love my life…and I’m living….

I go to the sports club..sign the book as a guest..watch rugby with a local…the Crusaders from Christchurch are whooping some rugby team from Melbourne…of course we cheer for NZ. I love watching rugby….it is nonstop…good action…strong dudes..no equipment…working their tail off…and I like the point system…its all really fun… I’m learning the strategies of the offense and defense..figuring it out.

I cannot wait to watch the All Blacks whoop South Africa one day…or any team for that matter…if they come to the USA anytime soon I will be there..I cannot wait to see the HAKA.

Head home…

I go up to my loft..I have one goal the next day…since I saw a lot from the car and explored the middle of the island…the next day would be dedicated to catching a fish…dad bought me a fishing license when I was staying on the dart river…I tried..it was rough…I became frustrated and gave up…I felt pretty guilty about not trying hard enough to catch one. I wanted to catch one for him on this trip. I also wanted to catch one for Zach Wiener…who I have loved watching his love unfold for fishing over the last couple years. So I’ve had this rod for a week at this point…lugging it around…I gotta rig it all up. Not my favorite thing in the world to do…but I’m determined to catch a fish.

Alright..the next post will be about my Saturday in GBI. I am woofing down a taco and trying to catch a ferry at 3:00 pm to Waiheke island. I should return around 7:30 and then walk straight into the James Taylor Concert…he’s going to sing me home to the states…I am so excited..what a way to close out this trip.

I first heard James Taylor in my grandfathers mountain house in Carolina. Playing throughout the house while we rested from a day of being outdoors.

When I turned 16 my parents got me a black Tacoma. I loved that truck. I found a burned cd under the seat with all kinds of random songs on it.. it was scratched after track 6. Colder weather by Zac Brown was track 6. In the cd player itself.. a cd was left in there. I always wondered if this was done on purpose by the previous owner. The cd was James Taylor’s Greatest hits. I was 16… getting my first taste of freedom.. cruising around with the windows down listening to James Taylor. Easy listening. I cherish those memories in my black truck. I created a lot of great memories in that truck. My neighbor and dear friend Jacob Dooley got the truck when I went off to college. I was always glad to know that it was in good hands and especially in the hands of someone I loved. I thought it was really cool.

I really like a song that he probably won’t play tonight…it’s called……highway song…from way back when he had hair…1971… my dad was 4 at the time…….me and James share a lot in common. He will sing a Carole king cover I know for a fact…

that song is called….”You’ve got a friend”…..;)

I have always adored “shower the people”

I also like the song “You can close your eyes”

“It won’t be long before another day, we gonna have a good time, and no ones gonna take that time away”

Today would have been my second anniversary. I did not plan it that way.. but my friend James Taylor and I will hang out tonight.. and we will have a good time. It won’t be long before another day.

Last day……ahhh….what in the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Much love……-Z