A Kaleidoscope
St. Patricks Day…just slept about 1.5 hours on a plane. I’ve left Melbourne and I’m headed to Indonesia. My head was nodding in and out and up and down the entire time…little crick in my neck. I look out the window..I’m flying over the middle of Australia..It’s barren…it’s brown..it’s dry. Just like you would imagine the middle of Australia would look like..I woke up in a bit of nervousness and a bit of a “where I am I?”feeling….Not really the fact that I am halfway across the world…flying from one country to the next..I mean I’m sure that plays into the subconscious thoughts a little bit…but these are more like where am I in the journey of life…I am alone. I’m living in this world alone…I don’t have a partner…I don’t live with a family or friends..It is just me..raw-dogging life. I’ve been through childhood, adolescence, college, post college, married in a house, and always belonging to something…or always apart of something…whether that is a school, a neighborhood, a team, a family of friends, and now…Its just Zack..thats ok! and of course I have friends and family there for me…but at this stage in life the lack of belonging to something does feel weird…wherever I land after this trip…I will do my best to plug into a community…a community is something we all desire to be apart of…it helps us grow, learn, and feel belonging…connection. I think Zack has desired connection…to fill a void in me. I think the center of reasoning for my desire to have a child is..connection…not that a child will fix me…but I want to create something..see a mix of me in a child…teach this child about all the things I’ve learned about this world…teach this child about how to make this world a better place…I want to have an imprint on a child…I do thing having a child will fill a certain void in me as well..idk if that is selfish..but that is how I feel….with a partner..I desire to be understood. I desire to be protected and loved unconditionally.
I guess I wore a little green today…my rubber boots are a dark green color…my two backpacks are reaching a point where its pretty hard to zip them up…I have things hanging off each of them by carabiners..I have ditched a couple of pieces of clothing that were either ruined at Al’s place or…shirts that have survived years on my back…I bought 3 shirts over here that I love…and new clothes for myself actually made me feel a little refreshed…I liked it! I’m trying hard not to get any souvenirs…so far I’ve only collected two items.
One is the rugby ball I found on the hike in Piha that has already been shipped home..it arrived safely. The other item I found at the Queen Victoria Market in Melbourne yesterday morning. It’s a Kaleidoscope. Its a brass? heavy..kaleidoscope. I have been looking for a certain kind for several years in antique stores, flea markets, etc. I know you can order some online..but I wanted to find one in the wild. Well here it lies in Australia…and it has a saying engraved in the side of it….”Life is like an ever-shifting kaleidoscope..a slight change, all patterns alter” wow…take my money sir who doesn’t speak English…60 Australian dollars he says…wow he doesn't even have a clue how much higher I was prepared to spend…I did have a limit…but I wasn’t expecting 60. That’s about $39 USD. Deal! Epic find in my book!!!!
Spent 5 days in Melbourne…I enjoyed it more and more each day…I haven’t looked at my steps but I know I covered a ton of ground..my feet are feeling it..my left heel has a crack in it about an inch and a half…you could see the red in there..my feet are dry..and cracking under the pressure ;). My right heel is getting ready to crack…it’s coming soon. I’ve got to get off of them for a couple days. I left the day festival after one of my new favorite singers performed..Ziggy Alberts..his music is just perfect for my life right now…chilled out…powerful lyrics..and just an easygoing vibe. The guy is cool!…I went straight back to the room to get the comfiest socks I have..put on the green boots…and got some immediate relief…I wandered to the nearby restaurant below…its Italian..not too fancy Italian..very busy. I sit at the bar…order a half dozen oysters..and a full dozen comes out lol this wasn’t like..oh we are gonna give you extra..this was great that will be 1 million dollars enjoy these slimy things! They were good though…service was rough…I think I sat without a water or beverage for probably 15 minutes…and my meal had already arrived…ya boy can’t eat if he doesn’t have anything to drink…he’s got cracks in his feet too! My patience is tested…in big cities…and in travel in general..our patience gets tested often…I think my next blog will be about my current journey of working on patience..overcoming irritability…and furthering my ability to have empathy for the things that are seemingly unknown…more than ever nowadays….I know what lies underneath many humans living amongst us…and I have no clue what that may be. I finish the meal. I say thank you. I tip.
So I’m headed to Bali. You’ve probably heard of it…white sand beaches, luxury, party, islands etc. Bali is just my landing spot…I’ll be staying a hotel near the airport..on the beach tonight/tomorrow…and well..I’m excited..and feel like I deserve it. My feet too!. Without my feet…the rest of the trip cannot continue. There are some big hikes later on next month. My knees have done amazing by the way for those who know that they have given me issues for sometime…I have two knee sleeves that I use every now and then….maybe the other muscles around the knee have gotten stronger..there is still pain in them..but I think I just know to be careful with how I step…aware of my movements. Its like a game.
My US dollar is about to go far here in Indonesia…everything I’m reading talks about how cheap things are..and accommodation I can already see how cheap it is…and for luxury places as well! I will still stay in some hostels as I make my way east from Bali through Indonesia… this portion of the trip definitely feels like I’m going on vacation.
Connection, patience, rest. That is what is on my mind…and where I’m going to live after this trip. We can talk about that here soon.. Much love to all.
