No Rain…No Flowers

“No Rain…..No Flowers” reads a tattoo on a girl at the table next to me…I was getting ready to open my laptop up to write about sunshine and my current state of happiness. She has a mountain range and flower wrapping around the back of her arm. Cool tattoos. I’m listening to no rain by Blind Melon now.

I just rode a bike from the village into town…sunny day..not as much smoke in the valley as the days before…can actually see the Tetons today. Cruising on the bike…an e-bike lol at 20 mph through this valley “soothes the soul” as Mom would say. I think it hit me today…it did hit me today. This is my life now and it is what younger Zack dreamed of..and now it’s here. Like magic…through so many thunderstorms, tornadoes, hurricanes, tsunamis, and even LANDSLIDES like we had here the other day ha…my life has arrived to a sunny stage. A free stage. A blissful stage. Its not like all the other things disappear…but we are moved on and we’ve done plenty of work to get through them…we have spent a tremendous amount of time healing..and have come to the realization that we won’t ever be fully healed..and thats ok. It really is. It’s not like we can do anything about that so why sulk further into the fact that we won’t ever be fully healed. We can however, find a place of enough bliss and peace to live a happy life. We don’t operate like robots and turn the switch off on our back that shuts off emotions and blocks out any negative or ill feelings that pop up…we feel them, acknowledge them…we say hello.. how are you old friend? Exchange pleasantries.. and end it on our own terms by saying “thanks for reminding me.. but we are no longer interested and you have no control over us anymore” and we move on to happy thoughts and remind ourselves how far we’ve come..and keep moving forward. Shit…we hop on a bike..or walk outside..and we breathe fresh mountain air.

I am content. I am blessed. I am breathing. I am living. I am living well.

On this particular bike ride I ran up on a semi-familiar face. I had just met this guy about 3 days ago. But I meet so many people it’s hard to keep track of who is who. It took a couple seconds but I got it. I met him and his friend in the elk refuge. I passed their vehicles on a long dirt road. I stopped when I realized I had recognized the vehicles from somewhere…saw they had a camera..two young guys. I pulled over. Shivers is in the car. I hop out and start walking back towards they two vans…they had them facing each other so I originally thought they were jumping off a battery or something. I yelled back out at them but I was parked so far away we could barely hear each other. They began to walk my direction too. “Couldn’t park a little closer!!?” one of them says hahaha I recognized one of them. From instagram..they have been making really great videos in the area…of adventures in the same place that I’ve been in adventuring in mainly by myself…their videos showcase incredible scenery, friendship, wild and adventurous youth…inspiring to me and a wonderful reminder of a goal of mine to never get to serious in this long life I live. Their videos also remind me of my friends and I playing and aimlessly up to no good in the outdoors. Many different friends come to mind. One of the main memories that pops up…it's with Walker and Brian in Florida…we’d walk to the end of the beach..to the jeti/ We would race to the end of the rocks stretching into the ocean…we were barefooted, sunburned, and scrambling over flat and then jagged rocks as fast as we could…I don’t recall any of us ever getting seriously hurt doing this over the many years we visited..but I was always anticipating something happening to one of us. Lucky. Waves crashing at our feet as we leaped to the next rock..using all fours on some spots..making it to the end and looking out..maybe a dead smelly fish near by…hot as blazes..and happy as we could be. Looking for girls on the way back and playing music in our pockets..making fun of grown men in speedos..body surfing waves and peeing on jelly fish stings.

This guy in Jackson reminds me of a younger version of myself in the playful boyhood sense…but he is getting to do it in a place that all young kids would dream of messing around freely…this is a playground for that activity. My guess is that this guy is 22-24. I have no clue..some people here think I’m 22-24 haha..I’m 29 and 3/4ths dammit! Jk I wish I was 22-24…actually no I don’t…I like this more experienced age…no health issues yet..besides the knees…I think I’m in a great spot in life. I believe the early thirties are about to be something special. Blessed to even make it to my early thirties. Memento Mori.

I want to call this kid Tarzan. We chatted side by side on the bikes for a second..he was jealous of the speed my e-bike could get so he latched on with one hand as I hit the throttle pulling him much faster than he was able to go. He mentioned that he just returned from the skatepark..the very next thing he did was hop off the bike path on to the sidewalk and hit a little jump from the sidewalk back into the bike path..maybe a foot of air idk. ..just like we used to do. That reminds me of riding bikes with Jake. Building ramps in the yard with chandler.

We were almost to our destinations and open mic came up..I asked if he sang anything…he said he did Ventura Highway the other night..I laughed to myself..Tarzan is the man.

I want to get out there and f around with Tarzan one day soon.

I see grown men and women playing around out here…every day..they have found a balance in life of surviving and playing. I don’t ever want to stop playing….every now and then a thought creeps in…maybe when I see business people here for a conference or on vacation but still having to work…they are making tons of money I’m sure and putting their degrees to work…and able to afford all of this and that…and it creeps in like..I’m less than..or wasting my time..or skills.…..…I shoot that thought down so fast it’s not even funny. The life I have chosen is different than most…but we are making a living out here..and we get off work..and step into a wonderland of outdoor activity. It’s a choice and this choice fits me better than anything I’ve chosen to do so far. Its about quality of life.

Sure, there are pros and cons to this type of lifestyle..but the pros with this one are so strong…that I don’t know if I'll ever give it up…I’ll prob do many things in my life to generate income, but one thing I can assure you is that the place I live will have an abundance of outdoor activities at my doorstep. I won’t become a workaholic and time off will remain at the top of my list. I was not put on this earth to work until I die. I will enjoy this life..not endure…remember!

When I do work..give 110%…when I rest..rest hard..when I play..play real hard.

I’m rereading Into the Wild…Christopher McCandless. I’m fired up…I want to complete my version of driving to Alaska..but my next time off is in November and thats not an ideal time to head out through Canada to Alaska. Maybe spring…I intend to hop on the stampede trail that Chris took…he wasn’t prepared…and he intentionally wasn’t prepared..and I have mixed feelings about that…but I’ll be prepared. I don’t want to die just yet. I’ve got so many things I want to do! I want a family one day :) There are many of things that I don’t look up to McCandless for, but I understand him on many many levels and why he did it the way he did it.

I thought about heading straight back to New Zealand…and I felt like I was cheating on that country when I picked somewhere else to go. It was hard..because I love NZ so much…but it was once a foreign destination to me…there are a ton of foreign destinations out there for Zack…the chances of falling in love with one of the many out there are strong..so I’m going to spend the rest of my life seeing as much as I can within means. oooooo if I could find a way to have a family and make money traveling the world periodically…then lets do it. Call out west home base. Shoot…why not find something now while I’m single that allows me to visit all of these places. hmmmm I’m in Jackson til April. We’ll see where this Ventura highway takes me.

I have flights booked to a place pretty far south..not El Paso, not Mexico City, not Colombia….but Chile…and the southern part of Chile in Patagonia. I’m going to work my way up to a place that I deem friendly for one reason……I’ll end the trip in Rio…Brazil….i’ve heard in Brazil a very common gesture is a thumbs up…I want to go see a place where everyone gives out a thumbs up…I think I can fit in with that…don’t you? ;) This will be a 30th bday gift to myself. Fired up to plan this trip. 2 weeks covering a lot of ground.

I’ve got this adventurous and curious flame burning pretty bright inside of me right now and it needs be let out…the sunshine will quickly be disappearing……

wanderlust

At snow king…there is an event going on of people hiking the mountain as many times as it would take to complete a Mt. Everest summit. I think I’ve said it in here before…I really don’t have a desire to summit Everest…and really don’t have a desire to summit many of the worlds tallest peaks. I mean I guess Denali..if I had to do one of the big ones..and I know that Denali is not an easy one..but it would be in my home country in a special place. Long life to live who knows. No time soon. Unless National Geographic pays me to go. I’ll do it for them.

No rain…no flowers…Well if I was a plant I’ve had too much water to drink and I’m ready stand tall and stretch out..give me the sun. Give me a foreign place to fall in love with…give me a new culture to explore..give me…exploration…and give me unconditional love. Give me peace. I control my direction and the wind carves the path..as we meander …actually….…as we meander down the dart river on my arm..to death. Inevitable death. Memento Mori.

I am about to hop back on the bike..listening to Ventura highway on repeat..channeling Tarzan and boyhood Zack…promising myself to never lose that playful, youthful, and adventurous side of myself.

Talk soon

Much love,

-Z